


I can't Let You Die But There's Nothing More I Can Do

by embracethedinosaurs



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Post-Season/Series 05, So much angst, i'm a monster, not super graphic descriptions of violence but just in case, seriously this is not a happy fic, worst case scenario
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 17:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15756534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embracethedinosaurs/pseuds/embracethedinosaurs
Summary: She feels the cruelty of the irony at the fact that the one person she cares about saving the most is the one person whose fate is up to chance, not her own capable healing abilities. Definitely not for a lack of trying, but there is nothing more that Abby can do but wait vigilantly by his bedside, his hand clutched tightly in hers and hope that he’ll wake up soon.





	I can't Let You Die But There's Nothing More I Can Do

When Marcus wakes up, it’s eerily quiet. He expects to hear gunshots and the cries of warriors but all is silent. Someone - Abby, he assumes - has gotten rid of  Vinson’s body and moved Marcus over to the bed in a corner of the former gas station that serves as both a house and Abby’s medical office/operating room. The last thing he remembers is Abby shocking Vinson with the collar and her rushing to his side as he felt an overwhelming amount of pain in his neck and side. He finds it odd that Abby isn’t at his side; if he had even so much as sprained an ankle in the bunker she would confine him to bed rest and watch over him constantly. He had understood it of course. In the bunker -especially during the later years- one was never sure when they were separated from someone if the next time they saw them would be in the fighting pits, convicted of something or other (as time went on, more and more minor things had become crimes).    

Marcus struggles to stand from the bed and he ignores the pain for his overwhelming need to find Abby; he can’t shake the feeling that something terrible has happened to her.

He leaves the gas station and is immediately appalled at what he sees. Evidently, McCreary’s people had won the battle but none of them are anywhere to be found. He sees the bodies of his former people strewn everywhere, riddled with bullet holes. They must have fought Eligius back into the valley but ultimately lost the battle.

He trips over a body and he realizes with a horrid start that it’s someone he knows well but hasn’t really talked to in six years - _Bellamy._ There’s a bullet hole straight through his head and he feels tears run down his face; Bellamy had too much life ahead of him, it isn’t fair.

Marcus takes a moment to actually look at the faces of the bodies at his feet and to his dismay, it’s more people he recognizes. Echo’s hand is clasped tightly with Bellamy’s and she too has a bullet hole in her head - it was evident that they had charged into battle together hand in hand.

About ten feet to the right of Bellamy and Echo he sees Shaw and Raven lying practically on top of one another with their limbs askew and tangled together.

The next body he recognizes shocks him to his very core. Octavia is lying with her hair fanned out beside her head almost reminiscent of a halo and oh, the irony. But despite the hatred he still feels towards the young woman and all she put Wonkru through, he feels a pang of sorrow upon seeing her dead body. Devoid of her Blodreina war paint and her cape torn off, she almost reminds Marcus of  the sixteen year-old girl who had kept pestering him just after Mount Weather to let her go camping, despite the very fragile relationship with the grounders. The girl who had enthusiastically tried to teach Trig to the children of Arkadia. The girl who had fallen apart so completely when Pike had shot a bullet into Lincoln’s head.

Marcus takes a moment to close each of their eyelids, including Octavia’s and whispers a, _may we meet again,_ before he recognizes a familiar flash of blonde hair. He sees Clarke on top of Madi, she obviously having jumped on top of her to protect her. Why Madi was even in the battle in the first place baffles Kane.

He knows that Abby will be absolute devastated about Clarke and he dreads being the one to tell her, that is, if she’s still alive. _Oh god, what if Abby is dead?_ The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind before now  because there is no way that Abigail Griffin with all her hope and love and light is dead. That’s not something that should even be possible. Even just imagining it kills Marcus inside. He doesn’t know who he’ll become without Abby. He thinks of the man he was on the Ark and shudders.

He eventually finds her in the church. A bullet hole not unlike his own stab wound in her side. She’s barely conscious and Marcus is reminded of what felt like a lifetime ago when he found her in the service bay after Diana Sydney had stolen the drop ship and the Ark had been on its last legs.

Like when he found her in the service bay, Marcus immediately goes and takes Abby in his arms. “Abby!” he cries, gently shaking her. “Stay awake, baby. Stay with me.”

“M-Marcus,” she croaks out and Marcus smiles reassuringly.

“I’m right here, baby. You’re going to be okay.”

Abby manages a weak, little smile. “Marcus, I’m a doctor, I know that’s not true. And so do you.” She closes her eyes and her head tilts to the side.

Marcus shakes her again, cupping her cheek and forcing her to look at him. He can feel the tears streaming freely down his cheeks. “Abby. Abby! Please don’t die on me, Abby. Stay with me, baby.”

“Marcus,” she breathes, her voice barely audible. “I love you, baby. I’m sorry about everything. The pills, I-”

“No, Abby, save your strength,” interrupts Marcus as he tries in vain to stop the bleeding with a piece of his shirt he had ripped off but it was no use, Abby had lost too much blood. It’s evident by the pool of blood forming on the ground near her wound.

“M-m-m-Marcus,” Abby tries again. “I- I love you, m-may we meet again.” She closes her eyes for the final time and Marcus lets out a gut-wrenching sob. He checks her pulse and feels nothing.

“Abby, Abby, Abby. No, no, no! Please don’t die on me, Abby. Please!” His desperate pleading is no use; Abby has already been taken in by the cruel arms of death. He buries his face in her hair and he breaks down.

He doesn’t care that there’s a chance McCreary’s people could come back at any time. The other half of his soul is dead, he doesn’t much care about what happens next.

* * *

 

“Abby! Abby!” calls out Marcus in his sleep, speaking for the first time in one-hundred and twenty-five years and roughly three weeks.

Abby leaps to her feet out of the chair by his bedside that she had refused to leave since the moment she had finished taking care of the medical needs of everyone who had just just awoken from cryo. Luckily, her and Jackson had managed to save all those with injuries and they were all on their way to recovery.

Well, they had managed to save everyone but one - Marcus Kane. Abby had stitched up the wounds on his neck and side and he had stabilized enough to be taken out of Cryo but he still hasn’t woken up yet, much to Abby’s increasingly overwhelming state of anxiety.

She feels the cruelty of the irony at the fact that the one person she cares about saving the most is the one person whose fate is up to chance, not her own capable healing abilities. Definitely not for a lack of trying, but there is nothing more that Abby can do but wait vigilantly by his bedside, his hand clutched tightly in hers and hope that he’ll wake up soon. Diyoza had told her one-hundred and twenty-five years ago that there was a 1 in 100,000 chance that cryo could poison open wounds but they had all deemed it a necessary risk, after all, without cryo they all would have died.

He currently lies on a bed in Eligius IIII’s medical bay, a far nicer facility to what she had been using the last few weeks - or, what had felt like the last few weeks but in reality was 125 years ago - but not nearly as nice as the facilities in the bunker; Cadogan had spared no expense when preparing for the apocalypse. She would feel ten times as confident about Marcus living if she had her familiar medical equipment instead of the strange medical equipment on the ship.

“Abby! Abby!” calls Marcus again. He starts shaking and Abby can tell he is sweating something fierce. She leans over him and gently wipes the sweat off his face with a towel. “Please don’t die on me, Abby,” he murmurs and Abby is finally able to figure out what’s happening. Vivid hallucinations are a common side-effect of the medication she had given him.

“Abby,  don’t die on me. I can’t lose you too.” Marcus is pleading now and it’s almost too much for Abby. The man she loves is experiencing her dying like he has god knows how many others in this dreadful fantasy his mind has concocted and he is completely unaware that it isn’t real.

She kisses his forehead. “It’s okay,” she murmurs, stroking his long hair. “It’s not real, I’m right here. I’m alive. You just need to wake up.”   

Abby climbs into bed behind him and holds him so that his head is resting against her chest. His shaking intensifies and he starts trying to thrash out of her hold but she just holds him tighter and buries her face in his hair. “Abby, Abby, Abby,” he said, his voice getting steadily quieter each time.

“Marcus, wake up,” pleaded Abby, tears of frustration and fear pooling in her eyes. “It’s just a dream, baby, wake up.”

Marcus says something intelligible and gradually stops shaking and thrashing.

When Abby hears the heart monitor flatline, she pulls him tighter in her arms. She strokes the unruly hair that she will never again have the chance to convince him to cut and sobs as she feels her entire world collapse.

“May we meet again.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did I write a fic in which both Kane and Abby watch the other die? Yes. Yes, I did. I'm sorry, I'm a monster.


End file.
